I read another great book. Another must read. I have so many pages 'dog tailed'...or is it 'dog eared'? All the following quotes or my 'mini- paraphrases' are from the book Hudson and Maria Taylor: A Match Made in Heaven, written by John Pollock.
"Maria...[writing] to her student brother Samuel in London... : 'I met a gentleman and, I cannot say I loved him at once, but I felt interested in him and could not forget him. I saw him from time to time and still this interest continued. I had no good reason to think it was reciprocated, he was very unobtrusive and never made any advances.' She said she was led to take the matter to God at once."
" ' The Lord supplies your need now, and if your need grows greater, so will the supplies.' "
(Background: while Hudson and Maria were both missionaries in China, Hudson was pursuing a relationship with a gal back in England. He wrote many letters to her and her father, requesting her hand in marriage, and permission for moving his desired wife to China. This quote is from a fellow missionary male friend whom consoles Hudson after receiving this rejection): 'I know, dear brother, something of all the experience you speak of (being rejected): the Lord Jesus made such a season to myself the occasion of much personal manifestation of Himself.' "
(So long story short, at this time in their story, Maria is working for and living with, what is essentially, in my words, a Christian convent. The woman, Miss Aldersey is this older man 'in charge' of and 'temporary guardian' to all the young women working and living there. I think Maria is 20 or so...Anywho, so what has to happen is Hudson has to request permission from Miss Aldersey to see/marry Maria, but then Hudson and Maria find out that technically her uncle, living in England, is the one who will have the ultimate say. So, (evilish) Miss Alderdsey writes this letter to Maria's uncle, explaining why Hudson is this terrible guy, but Maria, quick thinking, writes a letter to her uncle from her perspective. Here's an excerpt):
" 'I do not wish to throw myself away, which Miss Aldersey seems to think I should do by marrying Hudson Taylor. Nor would I wish to unite myself to a man such as she thinks Mr. Taylor ought to be. But I desire his character and principles to be sifted.' A closing paragraph breathed unaffected piety: 'Though I sometimes feel that the greatest earthly pleasure that I desire is to be allowed to love the individual whom I have mentioned so prominently in my letter, and to hold the closest and sweetest intercourse with him spiritually as well as temporally that two fellow mortals can hold, I desire that he may not hold the first place in my affections. I desire that Jesus may be to me the chiefest among ten thousand, the altogether lovely.' Both Maria and Hudson had been taking refuge in The Song of Songs."
(In order to be 'approved' to see each other and marry, Hudson and Maria had to receive an interview): "Maria prayed secretly that 'if it was God's will, if it was not wrong, we might have an interview.' She was tempted to concoct and encounter, 'but I preferred that it should be of God's overruling and not of my arranging.'
(Finally Hudson and Maria are allowed to see each other. Before they marry, Hudson receives opposition from others. Since he is uneducated, and simply a missionary, he is pressured to return to England in order to "remove his anomalous position either by taking his diploma as a medical man or receiving ordination." After another respected male friend and missionary told Maria this, she responded): "Maria's answer showed the spirit of a girl: 'I would wait if he went home in order to increase his usefulness. But is he to leave his work in order to gain a name for the sake of marrying me? If he loves me more than Jesus he is not worthy of me - if he were to leave the Lord's work for the world's honour, I would have nothing further to do with him.' 'She is a noble girl,' was Hudson's comment."
(Hudson becomes very ill. To give greater background, to my understanding, he was kind of and odd ball. Not very attractive and he had a lot of health issues. He would be forced to stay in bed for months at end, where he would meditate on God's character/Word. He was especially drawn to "two Hebrew place-names which the Old Testament not only records but explains: Eben-ezer and Jehovah-jireh. These ancient, queer-sounding names were potent to Taylor. he read in the seventh chapter of the First Book of Samuel that after a great victory given in immediate answer to prayer, Samuel raised a memorial stone 'and called the name of it Eben-ezer, saying Hitherto hath the Lord helped us.' Taylor read also in the twenty-second chapter of Genesis that where the Lord had stayed Abraham from sacrificing Isaac and had provided a ram. 'Abraham called the name of that place Jehovah-jireh.' "): "If cast down, or anxious Taylor looked at his scrolls. 'My faith...often, often failed, and I was so sorry and ashamed of my failure to trust such a Father. But oh! I was learning to know Him...He became so real and intimate.' "
(There were numerous times when they literally had nothing. No food for themselves, and no funds to assist others. Here's an account from a specific night they were experiencing such lack of physical provision...until...): "On a day in November, the cupboard almost empty, a mail arrived a week early. [Hudson + another missionary, Jones] nearly wept in gratitude, 'as we saw not only our needs supplied, but the widow and orphan, the blind, lame and destitute provide for by the...bounty of Him who feeds the ravens through the liberality of dear Mr. Berger (the man who gave such a generous monetary gift).' " (my thoughts: It all belongs to God. People like Mr. Berger are merely entrusted with such gifts, which makes giving easier, realizing it's not ours to begin with, but instead, a gift entrusted to bring glory to God and further His Kingdom).
(the next paragraph after Mr. Berger's gift...) "A fortnight before the wedding date the money bag dropped to a single coin; and no mail due. After a scrappy breakfast they faced starvation. 'We could only betake ourselves to Him who is a real father, and cannot forget His children's needs...' " (realizing their great need, they sell their clock and portable stove, but still had little to nothing, paying for transportation to sell the objects.) "Famished and disconsolate, [Hudson + Maria] searched their house from top to bottom, unearthed a packet of cocoa and brewed it. They refused an urgent loan from one of their servants, telling him, 'Our Father will not forget us.' 'Though [Jones] spoke with confidence, our faith was not a little tried as we went into his study and...cried indeed unto the Lord in our trouble.' They were yet on their knees when the servant ran in. 'Teacher, Teacher! Here are letters!' Days before schedule an unexpected mail brought another gift from Berger. That night Hudson held Maria's hand specially tight and offered her freedom, 'I cannot hold you to your promise if you would rather draw back. You see how difficult our life may be at times...' 'Have you forgotten?' she replied, 'I was left an orphan in a far-off land. God has been my Father all these years. Do you think I shall be afraid to trust Him now?' "
"...significant was the influence of Maria upon her husband. Her [spiritual] development had been more orderly; she served to steady Hudson's faith while he deepened hers...Maria...was largely responsible for the common sense and balance characteristic of Taylor at the height of his powers...Her passionate nature filled his warm-blooded yearning to love and be loved. She gave him full response, a fostering and feeding affection so that together they had such a reservoir of love that it splashed over to refresh all, Chinese or European, who came near them."
(Apparently Maria had a "squint" and an "incautious relative [who] suggested to Hudson and operation to cure [it]." This is Hudson's response to that relative): " 'I was very indignant! I loved her and I loved it. I loved her just as she was and everything about her. I would not have had it changed on any account. I would not have changed anything she was or did.' "
" 'The church is asleep; and armchairs and sofas and English comforts possess more attractions than perishing souls' "
(Upon another time of sever financial insecurity, with nearly all their money spent, Taylor was faithful in paying his tradesmen and servants...): "on..Sunday, when Taylor gave his normal church collection, 'in faith and as due to God,' he had nothing left but a few pennies...Prolonged embarrassments puzzled Taylor until it occurred to him that if God promises to meet all needs, 'the trial of faith is one of the needs which He ministers to and supplies.' "
(While looking at the large wall-map of China, that dominated his study...): "He viewed an Empire, 'it's vast extent, its teeming population, its spiritual destitution and overwhelming need' - four hundred million, as the population was then estimated in the West, and all but a few thousand ignorant of the name of Christ. Inland China weighed on him. The weight bore more heavily as 1863 turned to 1864, 'and prayer was often the only resource by which [my] burdened heart could gain any relief.' "
(This is a quote from Anne, another missionary woman, whose fiance, Crombie was asked to join the mission to reach inland China. Originally planning to wait until they were married, and make the journey to the inland, Crombie is requested to leave earlier, leaving his family and fiance behind. This is Anne's response to Crombie on the issue): " 'Go, George, and let the world see that you love the Lord Jesus more than me.' He was in Plymouth next evening...Unexpectedly, Anne was able to follow him out a fortnight later."
"If China had to wait for college graduates qualified to found, equip and develop full-scale stations, a century might pass before the more remote provinces so much as heard the name of Christ."
(In regards to financial support and Matthew 6:33 Seek ye first the Kingdom of God; and all these things should be added unto you.): " ' God is sufficient for God's work,' the leader of more than six hundred missionaries then active in China said: 'God chose me because I was weak enough. God does not use His great works by large committees. He trains somebody to be quiet enough, and little enough and then He uses him.' "
" 'A million a month dying in that land, dying without God. This was burned into my very soul. I scarcely slept night or day for more than an hour...These souls, and what eternity must mean for every one of them, and what the Gospel might do, would do, for all who believe, if we would take it to them!' "
(While visiting England, Hudson experienced this while attending church one Sunday): "As the full congregation rose to sing the last hymn, Taylor looked around. Pew upon pew of prosperous, bearded merchants, shopkeepers, visitors; demure wives in bonnets and crinolines, scrubbed children trained to hide their impatience; the atmosphere of smug piety sickened him. He seized his hat and left. 'Unable to bear the sight of a congregation of a thousand or more Christian people rejoicing in their own security, while millions were perishing for lack of knowledge, I wandered out on the sands alone, in great spiritual agony.' "
"To the world [Hudson Taylor] was a feeble creature - of weeby physique, without powerful friends, almost a pauper. But he had thrown himself on God, had become an instrument of the Most High. His intelligence, his will-power and sticking power, his charm, his capacity to inspire and foster affection and loyalty, had all been touched by the Divine; he had become greater than the sum of his parts. He had no idea, in the last days of June 1865, how God planned to give him the men or means to evangelise inland China. But Hudson had not the slightest doubt that He would."
(While apart from Maria for a short time, Hudson experienced this): "His love for her invaded all of him, they were 'one flesh' indeed, each mystically a part of the other's thought, action and Christian service. Away from her he felt raw and aching; he missed her smile of encouragement, her laugh, her instinctive understanding of his feelings. In the 6 am train he scribbled to her in pencil, 'It is not pleasant for me to go to strange places and push myself forward, but the Lord helps me...Bless you,' he ended, 'and our precious little treasures. How I seem to miss their little voices, dear little loving pets. Kiss them for me.' "
(While during the same visit, as described above, Hudson was invited to speak at a Conference in England): "The evening meeting drew to its close. The Convenor arose, scanned his notes to get the name right, and announced that 'Mr. Hudson Taylor of Ningpo, China, will engage in prayer.' Taylor mounted the platform, gripped the rail to stop his hand shaking, closed his eyes on the largest audience he had ever stood before, and opened his lips. A contemporary recorded: 'I was deeply impressed with the simplicity and fervor of his prayer, and felt that he was speaking to a familiar Friend in whom he had perfect confidence and from whom real blessing was confidently expected. Hearts opened to this unknown young man who unconsciously lifted the level of the Conference by a prayer. A General invited him to stay. Many pressed round to question. The following afternoon, nervous as before, he had the great audience in the hallow of his hand.' "
(At the same conference as described above, Taylor told this story of a young Christian who had fallen overboard. Unsuccessful to aid him, Taylor looked over to see a fishing boat that had a fishing net that would be able to hook on to the man who was in desperate, immediate need. This was the dialog):
"'Come and drag over this spot directly; a man is drowning just here!'"
"'It is not convenient!"
"'Don't talk about convenience! A man is drowning, I tell you!"
"'We are busy fishing, and cannot come."
"'Never mind your fishing," [Taylor] said, "I will give you more money than a full day's fishing will bring, only come - come at once!"
"'How much money will you give us?"
"'We cannot stay to discuss that now! Come, or it will be too late. I will give you five dollars" (then worth about thirty shillings in English money).
"'We won't do it for that," replied the men. "Give us twenty dollars and we will drag."
"'I do not possess so much; do come quickly, and I will give you all I have!"
"'How much may that be?"
"'I don't know exactly, about fourteen dollars."
'At last, but even then slowly enough, the boat was paddled over and the net let down. Less than a minute sufficed to bring up the body of the missing man. The fisherman were clamorous and indignant because their exhorbitant demand was delayed while efforts at resuscitation were being made. But all was in vain. Life was extinct.'
Taylor paused. He could sense hot indignation sweep the Scots at such callous indifference. Quietly he continued, 'Is the body, then, of so much more value than the soul? We condemn those heathen fishermen. We say they were guilty of the man's death - because they could easily have saved him, and did not do it. But what of the millions whom we leave to perish, and that eternally? What of the plain command, 'Go ye into all the world and preach the Gospel to every creature'?"
(Same conference again...) "Taylor passed to the story of the ex-Buddhist merchant, and educated man, who had been baptised after attending the little church in Ningpo. 'He asked me soon afterwards, 'How long have you known this Good News in your own country?'
"'Hundreds of years.'
"'Hundreds of years! And yet you never came to tell us! My father sought the truth, sought it long, and died without finding it. Oh, why did you not come sooner?'
Taylor began his conclusion. 'Shall we say that the way was not open? At any rate it is open now. Before the next Perth Conference twelve million more, in China, will have passed forever beyond our reach. What are we doing to bring them the tidings beyond our reach. What are we doing to bring them the tidings of Redeeming Love? It is not use singing, waft, waft ye winds, the story.' The winds will never waft the story. But they may waft us..."
(Hudson speaking of the qualifications of people desiring to join the mission in China): "...workers must be satisfied that God had called them individually to labour in China for the good of the Chinese; must go forth to China on their own responsibility; and must look to God for their support and trust to Him to provide it and not lean on me (Taylor). That they must be prepared to labour without any guaranteed support from man, being satisfied that the promise of Him who has said 'Seek ye first the Kingdom,' etc...Remember this: You are going out to serve the Lord Jesus, not the China Inland Mission. The Mission might fail. Look always off unto Him. He will never fail you."
"Taylor did not rest at describing China's spiritual need and claims. He sought to deepen the spiritual life of the Church 'to such a point as to produce the missionary spirit.' 'What a power the going out of the party was in the Christian world at the time,' recalled a man who followed them next year. ' Many of course said it was madness. Others thought it was a beautiful step of faith.'"
(At the end of a public lecture in England, the Chairman rose to announce that a collection would take place in order to raise funds for Hudson, and this was Hudson's response): "If you all feel burdened, as the Chairman says, then that is one of the strongest reasons against a collection. I do not want your burden to be relieved by making a contribution here and now under present emotions. Go home burdened with the deep need of China. Ask God what He would have you do. If you give money, give it to any missionary society with agents in China...But in many cases God may want, not money, but yourself, or giving up a son or daughter to His service, or prayer. A collection leaves the impression that the object of the meeting has been obtained. But no amount of money can convert a single soul.'"
(Due to differing views on how to interact with the Chinese, specifically how to dress - western or authentic Chinese wear - there was a great dividing line that grew between those involved in the Mission): "The split must be healed or the Mission collapse. These months of spring and summer, 1867, brought full Maria and Hudson. 'I have known him under all circumstances,' Jennie [one of the young missionary women] told her father, 'and if you could see him daily you would indeed admire his self abnegation, his humility and quiet never flagging earnestness. very few in his place would have shown the forbearing loving spirit that he has done. No one knows how much he has felt these troubles nor how much he has suffered from depression. If he were not in the habit of casting his burdens upon the Lord, I quite believe that what he has passed through he would have sunk under. Grace, not natural temperament, supported him.'"
"At thirty years of age Maria had reached her prime. She was worn with privation and recurrent illness; she had been tubercular since 1865. Thinness accentuated her height, and suffering would have left her pale had her complexion not been naturally rather dark.
The younger missionaries were slightly in awe of her. She was so obviously a lady, and she had sharp intellect and powers of concentration. They admired her skill in the language, literary, and colloquial, and the way she got close to the Chinese. They admired her strength of will, 'a woman of indomitable perserverance and courage, through troubles of every kind.'
This awe was tempered by affection. 'Ever since we left England she cared for me and treated me as one of her own family,' said James Williamson. 'Such a mother to us who were young in years and young in grace,' recalled one of the recruits of 1868. Like Hudson, 'she always sympathised with everyone and everybody. It showed often in little things.
She was bright and animated in matter and conversation but never impatient or ruffled, always serene whatever might stir without - or within her...Hudson could lean hard on her, drawing vigour from her spiritual maturity, her tranquility and faith, her unwavering affection. Ten years after their engagement they were still passionately in love with each other. She gave him and their work all she had, every ounce of strength, every thought that crossed her intelligent mind, all the force of her love. She allowed him to drain her, and if sometimes his demands were unconsciously selfish, she was no more aware of it than he was."
"Of the five children, Gracie, the eldest, aged eight, was the apple of the Taylor's eyes. She was the one link with their...life in China. She was bright and happy, she was able to understand more than her brothers what their parents were doing and why. Like most missionary children she was a passport to the hearts of the natives, she could prattle about religious in a way that might seem precious to a less sentimental generation, but which was sincere."
(Upon becoming critically, water on the brain, Gracie becomes unconscious and soon dies at the young age of eight. Because of the great hurt they were dealing with, the Mission, once split due to issues of attire, came together to support and comfort Hudson and Maria): "Gracie had saved the [China Inland Mission]."
"It was symbolic of her life. Maria loved Hudson fiercely, protectively, with instinctive awareness of his need. She did not fear for him...Her mind was in perfect peace because in perfect accord with her Saviour, her closest Companion, the source of her courage and wholeheartedness and her astounding ability to ignore physical weakness and fatigue."
(From Hudson to Maria): "'I do thank God, darling, for having given you to me, and for so long sparing you to me. May he long do so! But O! may he ever give us both to love him best, most constantly and with unfailing constancy. Then we shall not love one another too much.'"
(Hudson): "'I hated myself, I hated my sin; and yet I gained no strength against it.'" the summer months intensified Hudson Taylor's inward conflict. He prayed, agonised, fasted, made resolutions, read the Bible more, without effect. 'Every day, almost every hour, the consciousness of failure and sin oppressed me.' He knew that in Christ lay the answer. 'I began the day with prayer, determined not to take my eye from Him for a moment; but pressure of duties, sometimes very trying, constant interruptions, sometimes so wearing, often caused me to forget Him. then one's nerves get so fretted in this climate that temptations to irritability, hard thoughts, and sometimes unkind words are the hardest to withstand.'
The more he struggled for holiness, for inward vitality that hope gave outward serenity, 'the more it eluded my grasp, till hope itself almost died out'. He never doubted that 'in Christ was all I needed, but the practical question was how to get it out...I prayed for faith but it came not. What was I to do?'"
(Still afflicted by spiritual battles such as the one above, Hudson receives a letter from John McCarthy, a dear friend and brother in Christ): "It was a long letter. He read on and on, attention riveted. 'I seem,' McCarthy wrote, 'as if the first glimmer of the dawn of a glorious day has risen upon me...I seem to have sipped only of that which can satisfy.' McCarthy had found the secret they sought. Hudson looked at the letter again. 'To let my loving Saviour work in me His will...Abiding, not striving or struggling...'
Hudson came to the last paragraph. 'Not a striving to have faith, or to increase our faith but a looking at the faithful one seems all we need. A resting in the loved one entirely, for time, for eternity. It does not appear to me as anything new, only formerly misunderstood.'
Hudson was amazed at his own blindness. His eyes opened wide...'If we believe not, He abideth faithful.' And I looked to Jesus and saw (and when I saw, oh, how joy flowed) that He had said, "I will never leave you".' In shorter time than it took to describe afterwards, Hudson grasped that he must not struggled to have strength or peace but rest in the strength and peace of Christ. 'I have striven in vain to abide in Him. I'll strive no more. For has not He promised to abide with me - never to leave me, never to fail me?' The effort to 'get it out' was a mistake.
'I am one with Christ,' he cried as he explained the glorious discovery to the whole...household, hastily gathering them together and reading McCarthy's letter. 'It was all a mistake to try and get the fullness out of Him, I am part of Him. Each of us is a limb of His body, a branch of the vine. Oh, think what a wonderful thing it is to be really one with a risen Saviour.'"
"'Things may not be, in many respects, as I would wish them; but if God permits them to be, or so orders them, I may well be content.'" -Hudson
"'God reigns, not chance.'" -one of the young missionaries
(At the end of this book, Maria becomes deathly ill. In order to aid in comforting her while she died, Hudson began to cut off the long locks of hair, giving some relief to the heat that wracked Maria's body. Upon losing her locks, Hudson asks if she wants each of the children to receive a lock. Her response): "'Yes, and tell them to be sure to be kind to dear Miss Blatchley (their nanny/caregiver during this time of Maria's illness)...and...and...and to love Jesus.'
When he stopped cutting she put a hand to her head.
'That's what you call thinning out?' she smiled. 'Well, I shall have all the comfort and you have all the responsibility as to looks. I never do care what anyone else thinks as to my appearance. You know, my darling, I am altogether yours,' she said. 'And she threw her loving arms, so think around me, and kissed me in her own loving way for it.'"
(After an extremely rough night, after the hair cutting incident, from above): '...it was dawn, and the sunlight revealed what the candle had hidden, the death-like hue of her countenance. Even my love could not deny, not her danger, but that she was actually dying. As soon as I felt sufficiently composed I said to her, "My darling, are you conscious that you are dying?"
'She replied with evident surprise. "Dying? Do you think so? What makes you think so?"
"'I can see it, darling."
"'What is making me die?"
"'Your strength is giving way."
"'Can it be so? I feel no pain, only weariness."
"'Yes, you are going Home. you will soon be with Jesus."
"'I am so sorry."
"'You are not sorry to go to be with Jesus?"
"'Oh no! (I shall never forget the look she gave me, as looking right into my eyes, she said:) 'It's not that. you know, darling, that for ten years past there has not been a cloud between me and my Saviour.' (I know that what she said was perfectly true.) 'I cannot be sorry to go to Him,' she whispered. 'But it does grieve me to leave you alone at such a time. Yet...He will be with you and meet all your need[s].'"
(Maria then kisses Hudson and the children. The household gathers quietly and watches as she grows weaker. When asked if she had any pain, she responds saying "no." She sinks into unconsciousness, and spasms.) "In the unforgettable words of Hudson's daughter-in-law long after: 'The summer sun rose higher and higher over the city, the hills, and the river. The busy hum of life came up and around them for many a court and street. But within one Chinese dwelling, in an upper room from which the blue of God's own Heaven could be seen, there was the hush of a wonderful peace.'
Soon after nine the breathing sank lower. Hudson knelt down. With full heart, one of the watchers wrote, he 'committed her to the Lord; thanking Him for having given her, and for the twelve and a half years of happiness they had had together; thanking Him, too, for taking her to His own blessed Presence, and solemnly dedicating himself anew to His service.'
The breathing stopped at 9:20. 'When she was really gone,' wrote Rudland, 'he just went out into another room - some time before he returned. It seemed that as though the victory had been won - alone with God. He seemed calmer then until the end.'
The great heat compelled that she should be buried that evening. Hudson went himself to buy the coffin. As they coffined her he spoke the words, 'The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.'
Rudland was beside him. 'At the very last when she was in her coffin he stood taking the last long look. He had to rush away again upstairs to be alone for a time.'
His baby. His wife. 'My heart wells up with joy and gratitude for their unutterable bliss, though nigh to breaking. 'Our Jesus has done all things well.'" (These are the literal last words - and paragraphs - of this book. How amazing.)
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